Xanadu Evanescum
by Lord Jeremy Silver
Summary: "Aren't ya kinda too old for a plush toy?" says Sam. "No. I love plushies." says Cat.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Sam & Cat.**

* * *

 **Xanadu Evanescum**

 **Sam is cooking dinner. Today she wear a tight sexy black heavy metal t-shirt, pink latex tights and black shoes.**

"Hi, Samantha." says Cat as she enter the room.

"What's up?" says Sam.

"I wanna tell you that I'll be going to Phu-lee-nix tomorrow." says Cat.

Cat wear a pink top, white tights and pink shoes.

"Oh, why?" says Sam.

"Dice has a model-job there and no one else can go with him." says Cat.

"Alright then. I'll manage stuff around here while you're away, girl." says Sam.

"Nice." says Cat.

"Yeah. It won't be too dang crappy. Gonna get me some alone-time." says Sam.

"That will be fun for you, Sam." says Cat.

"Probably so, Cat." says Sam.

Cat takes down her pink acoustic guitar from the wall and place it in an old brown guitar case. Old childish cartoon stickers are placed all random on the guitar case. The case itself looks old.

"Why is it so rare to hear ya play that thing?" says Sam.

"I'm not very good at it..." says Cat, even though she is good. Cat simply doesn't realize how good she is.

"Okay." says Sam.

"Hmm..." says Cat as she place her purple giraffe plushie in her suitcase.

"Aren't ya kinda too old for a plush toy?" says Sam.

"No. I love plushies." says Cat.

"Right...whatever..." says Sam.

Sam continue cooking while also sending a txt at the same time.

"Need this." says Cat as she pack down her pink dildo as well.

"Interesting. I had no idea you owned one." says Sam.

"Opsss...you weren't supposed to see that." says Cat.

"Don't be shy, girl. I'm proud of ya." says Samantha.

"Thanks, mama Sam." says Cat with a very cute smile.

"You're welcome, little Cat." says Sam.

25 minutes later, Cat and Sam eat dinner.

"Yum." says Cat.

"Great that ya like it." says Sam.

"Awww. The food is very nice." says Cat.

"Thank ya, sweetie." says Sam.

"No problem, Sam." says Cat.

"Okay." says Sam.

2 hours later.

Cat's grandma, who is known as Nona, show up.

"Oh...hey, Nona." says Cat.

"There you are. I hate to barge in like this, but I need to stay here for a couple days, if that's allright." says Nona.

"No...!" says Sam.

"Sam." says Cat.

"Why do ya have to stay here?" says Sam, clearly unhappy about Nona staying with her and Cat.

"Because Elderly Acres is infested with furniture mites and the exterminators will be spraying all weekend so I won't be able to be there." says Nona.

"What are furniture mites?" says Cat.

"Dirty disease-spreadin' lil' bugs. Mom used to get 'em between her toes. And in other certain places as well." says Sam.

"Ewww." says Cat and Nona.

"Is it fine if I sleep on your coach?" says Nona.

"No, it's not fine 'cause you're gonna stay in my room with Sam!" says a happy Cat.

"What...?" gasp Sam in surprise and then fall down in schock.

Cat helps Sam up again.

"There's only two beds in your room..." says Nona.

"I know. I'm gonna be in Phu-lee-nix for the next two days." says Cat.

"Bye, Nona." says Cat.

"You're going out of town?" says Nona.

"Yeah, so while I'm gone, you and Sam can be roommates." says Cat with a smile.

"Amazing! We're gonna be roomies! Let's bumb butt." says Nona, all happy and excited, trying to bumb butt with Sam.

"Oh, God. I ain't bumpin' butts with ya." says Sam, looking slightly upset. "If you wanna stay here, fine, but I'm goin' with Cat to Phoenix."

"No, Sam. You can't come to Phu-lee-nix with me. It's in Arizona." says Cat.

"Ah, yeah. Right." says Sam.

"Why can't you go to Arizona?" says Nona.

"Let's just say, there might be some sort of warrant there for my arrest. And in Ohio and some other states I never remember." says Sam.

"You just need to learn the song I created for you." says Cat and then sings "What are the states where Sam can't go? Arizona, Utah and Ohio. There's three more states where Sam can't be. Texas, New Hampshire and Tenessee."

"I'm also not welcome in Europe." adds Sam in a sort of singing tone.

Nona look surprised.

"Want some tea?" says Cat.

"Sure." says Nona.

"The two of ya have fun. I need some fresh air so I'll go for a walk." says Sam as she put on her jacket and shoes and leave the apartment.

"Is she okay?" says Nona.

"Of course. Samantha's a tough girl. I think she's just not into the idea of you staying here." says Cat.

"Why? I'm nice." says Nona.

"Yes, but Sam doesn't like too many people. She's a lone ranger type of girl, mostly..." says Cat.

"Alright." says Nona. "I hope she won't be mad at me for the whole of the time."

"She will not, don't worry." says Cat.

"Good." says Nona.

45 minutes later, Sam returns.

"Things are normal here. Thank goodness for that." says Sam.

"How was the walk?" says Nona.

"Not too crappy. I met a kid who recognized me from iCarly." says Sam.

"Cool that you still have fans." says Cat.

"Annoying rather. I want my privacy." says Sam.

"I thought you love attention." says Cat.

"Sure, from guys. Not from fans. Fans can be over the top." says Sam.

"Okay." says Cat.

Sam goes into the bedroom and takes a nap, fully dressed.

"You and Samantha seems to be good friends." says Nona.

"We are, even though we're pretty different from each other. I'm the cutie-girl and she's the tough one." says Cat.

"I understand." says Nona.

"Sweet." says Cat.

52 minutes later, Sam returns.

"How was the walk?" says Nona.

"I guess it wasn't too damn crappy. I met a kid who recognized me from iCarly." says Sam.

"Cute that you still have fans." says Cat.

"Annoying if ya ask me. I prefer to have my privacy, but there are exceptions. Some people are really sweet and think I was awesome as Carly's funny sidekick." says Sam.

"Okay. I think it's very sweet that people remember you." says Cat.

Sam goes to the bedroom, get into bed fully dressed and takes a nap.

"Yes, Carly. It sure is mine. No, Gibby. I refuse to do that. Mom, it wasn't me. Sure..." mumbles Sam in her sleep. "I've never been there. And I think that's a good thing. Stop, Freddie. Be gentle, okay? I know, mom. I have one."

"I wonder what your friend has against me." says Nona.

"Honestly nothing at all. Sam just looked forward to be alone when I'm in Phu-lee-nix." says Cat.

"Oh, so she love to be by herself...?" says Nona.

"Yeah, pretty often." says Cat.

2 hours later.

"Bye. Be sweet to each other, okay?" says Cat as she grab her stuff and walk leave the apartment.

"Good luck, Cat." says Sam.

"Maybe we could play chess or something?" says Nona.

"No, thanks. I'm gonna watch some porn in the bedroom." says Sam.

"I did not need to know that." says Nona.

"Sorry, but I am about sex and such. get used to it." says Sam.

"Well, I pretend to not hear you." says Nona.

The next day.

Nona watch an Italian action-movie.

"You like that?" says Sam surprised.

"Yes." says Nona.

"Cool, me too." says Sam.

"Really?" says Nona.

"Sure." says Sam.

Sam drink some beer.

"Do you want one?" says Sam.

"I don't drink beer anymore." says Nona.

"Alright, but I do." says Sam.

"Okay." says Nona. "I used to drink when I was younger."

"That's pretty cool." says Sam. "I wish Cat would drink sometimes."

"Cat isn't the type of girl who'd drink beer and any other alcohol." says Nona.

"Makes sense, but I'd like to see her drink at least for certain occasions." says Sam.

"Perhaps she could drink small amounts if it is for a birthday or something similar." says Nona.

"That'd be nice, for sure." says Sam.

"You need to understand that Cat is still a child in her soul." says Nona.

"I know. And I never thought I'd say this, but you're pretty cool." says Sam.

"Aww, thanks." says Nona.

"Enjoy it while it lasts, old lady." says Sam.

"Sure, girl." says Nona.

Sam and Nona are both surprised that they actually get along.

"You seemed like a dork at first, though now I see that you're not." says Sam.

"You're amazing yourself, Samantha." says Nona.

"Thanks. And I prefer to be known as Sam." says Sam.

"Okay, Sam." says Nona.

"Yup." says Sam.

"Do you have a boyfriend...?" says Nona.

"I don't. I prefer to hook up instead of dating." says Sam.

"Why?" says Nona.

"More fun, I guess..." says Sam.

2 hours later.

"Smells good." says Sam.

Nona is cooking dinner.

"Curry fish with pasta and cream sauce. An old family classic." says Nona.

"Interesting. Sounds like something nice." says Sam.

"Okay." says Nona.

Sam wear a black leather top, pink tights and white socks.

"What was Cat like when she was little?" says Sam.

"Shy and insecure." says Nona. "Aside from that, not that different from now, but I'd say that she's gotten a lot more confident over the years."

"Alright." says Sam. "I've always been a tough badass girl."

"Did you hear from Cat?" says Nona.

"Yeah. She txted me." says Sam.

"Good." says Nona.

Nona notice a photo of Carly Shay on the wall.

"Who's that...?" says Nona.

"That's my best friend. Her name's Carly Shay." says Sam.

"Looks like a sweet girl." says Nona.

"Carly is truly a very sweet chick." says Sam.

"Where does she live?" says Nona.

"Usually in Seattle, but currently she's staying with her dad in Italy." says Sam.

"Italy?" says Nona.

"Yeah. Carly's dad is an officer in the US Air Force...a colonel, I think." says Sam.

"Nice." says Nona.

Half an hour later, Sam and Nona eat dinner.

"So, does it taste good...?" says Nona.

"Absolutely. Very nice." says Sam. "Though I eat almost any food. I'm never picky, but it does really taste awesome."

"Thanks." says Nona.

"You've got cooking skills. No problem." says Sam.

"I'm glad you like it." says Nona.

"Okay, sweet." says Sam.

"Yeah." says Nona.

"Right." says Sam.

Sam is actually happy.

And so is Nona.

"Is that motorcycle in the corner yours?" says Nona.

"Oh, yeah. It's mine. Carly's brother and I restored it to give to some guy, but then things happened and I got it instead." says Sam.

"Nice, does Cat ever borrow it...?" says Nona.

"She never does." says Sam.

The next day.

Sam is taking a nice cold shower.

"La la la, I'm so hot." sings Sam while washing every part of her sexy body.

Sam is happy.

After the shower, Sam put on a tight dark-blue talex t-shirt, gray boxers, brown leather chaps and white socks.

22 minutes later.

Sam log onto her Facebook account and post some photos of herself and Cat.

Freddie leave a nice comment on one of the photos.

Sam reply to Freddie's comment.

2 hours later.

"Hmm...alright, here goes." says Sam as she sends a tweet to Freddie.

Sam drink some beer.

Nona is reading a book.

"In the middle of the journey of our life, I found myself astray in a dark wood, where the straight road had been lost." mumbles Nona.

"Nice. I had no idea Dante's Inferno was on your reading list." says Sam.

"You know this book? I'm impressed and Inferno happen to be a favorite for me." says Nona.

"That's cool and I know about it. Carly reads it sometimes." says Sam.

"Okay." says Nona.

"Yup." says Sam.

"Yeah." says Nona.

Sam eat a burger.

"I'm much smarter than most people think." says Sam.

"Very good." says Nona.

"Sometimes I may seem lazy and such, but I can work hard if I want to." says Sam.

"Alright." says Nona.

"Yeah. Carly and Cat know that I'm actually skilled at several things." says Sam.

45 minutes later, Sam is doing some small repair-work on her motorcycle.

"Okay. This should work..." says Sam.

"Problems?" says Nona.

"Not really. Just fixin' a minor issue." says Sam.

"I understand." says Nona.

Nona leave the room.

"I wonder how Carly's doing..." says Sam.

22 minutes later, Sam is done with the work on her motorcycle.

She wash her hands and then plop down on the couch to relax.

"I'm so hot. Guys can't resist me. No doubt about it, I'm the chick of their dreams." says Sam with a smile.

Sam is happy.

"Yeah. I'm awesome." says Sam.

40 minutes later.

Sam play a song on her electric guitar.

She also sing.

 _ **When the second wolf roar over the valley, the warriors swing their swords.**_

 _ **Baldur shall blow his silver horn and war is about to begin.**_

 _ **Muordan, the dragon, will slay Freiur.**_

 _ **The sky fades to darkness.**_

 _ **Bifrozt, the bridge between Earth and Asgard would fall and the final battle between Good and Evil starts.**_

 _ **Thor's mighty hammer would break the skull of the Giant's King.**_

 _ **Odyn's mighty spear known as Gugnner will pierce the heart of the Devil himself.**_

 _ **Tyr's sword shall cut the Lord of the Dark Elves in half.**_

 _ **In one final grand war, the armies of the Light and the Dark are going to face each other.**_

 _ **Hundreds of men shall die, but the sexy Valkyries shall bring the souls of the mighty warriors who fell in combat to the castle Valhalla, to eat and drink for all eternity by the mganificent dinner table of none other than Odyn himself, the King of Asgard.**_

 _ **Glory to the gods, glory in Asgard.**_

 _ **Oh come and let us sing. Oh come and let us sing. Oh come and let us sing to the honor of all.**_

"Very good, even though it's not my style of music." says Nona as she enter the room.

"Thanks." says Sam. "I sometimes write these lil' metal songs on my free time. This one's about the final war between the gods of Asgard and all evil. From viking mythology."

"Okay." says Nona.

"Yeah." says Sam.

"You're a skilled musician." says Nona.

"Not really, but I try to be kinda cool." says Sam.

"Trust me, you have talent." says Nona.

"Alright." says Sam.

Sam play and sing another song.

 _ **Shadows and sadness.**_

 _ **The future is gone.**_

 _ **I shall be, number one.**_

 _ **Beyond the grave, you will be.**_

 _ **You can soon be free.**_

 _ **Make love to me, in a grave.**_

 _ **Feel of how strong I am.**_

 _ **Let me be yours forever.**_

 _ **You're the one I want.**_

 _ **What do you feel for me?**_

 _ **I am awesome, can you see?**_

 _ **Trust me and relax.**_

 _ **I am sweet.**_

 _ **Never forget my name.**_

 _ **All I want is for you to be my man.**_

 _ **You have power and glory.**_

 _ **Make love to me and be my man, right here beyond death.**_

"That was a dark song." says Nona.

"Yeah, but that's the music I like." says Sam.

"Okay. Can you do a less hard song?" says Nona.

"I can try." says Sam.

 _ **Sunshine for all of the children, that is true.**_

 _ **I am here and will be nice to you.**_

 _ **Never can you forget me.**_

 _ **Let me see.**_

 _ **Someday, in the good future, I'll be free.**_

 _ **Tell me what you believe in, let know.**_

 _ **Please stay here and don't go.**_

 _ **You are very sweet.**_

 _ **And very cute.**_

 _ **Be good forever.**_

"That was beautiful." says Nona.

"Okay, thanks." says Sam.

"You're welcome." says Nona.

Sam hang her guitar back in its place on the wall.

"I need a beer." says Sam as she walk to the fridge and grab a bottle of beer.

"Are your parents aware that you drink beer?" says Nona.

"There's no problem. Mom know and is very okay with it and my dad is gone." says Sam.

"Okay." says Nona.

Nona leave the room.

"I'm such an amazing woman." says a happy Sam.

Sam drink her beer while thinking about Carly and Freddie.

"Hopefully they are okay." mumbles Sam.

Almost an hour later.

Once more, Sam play guitar and sing.

 _ **Dominate me and tell me I am yours.**_

 _ **Show me what I never knew.**_

 _ **Focus on me and be my friend.**_

 _ **All to the end.**_

 _ **When I'm gona you can till hold me, in your heart.**_

 _ **I am a loyal girlfriend and I play my part.**_

 _ **Always remember me and how awesome I truly am.**_

 _ **Believe in me and have fun with me, in any way you want.**_

 _ **I'm an awesome girl and you love me.**_

 _ **That's how it will always be.**_

"Sweet." says Sam.

40 minutes later.

Sam is reading a book.

Nona cook dinner.

"What are ya cookin'...?" says Sam.

"Pasta, bacon and garlic sauce." says Nona.

"Sounds awesome. I love bacon." says Sam.

"Nice." says Nona.

The next day, Cat is surprised when she get home and sees Sam and Nona being almost like friends.

"Hi, sweet to see you not being mad at each other." says Cat.

"What can I say? Turns out your grandma's pretty cool." says Sam.

"Sweet. I bought you something." says Cat as she give a pink gift bag to Sam.

Sam open it and inside is a black leather cowgirl hat.

"Thanks, Cat." says Sam, giving Cat a hug.

"No problem, Sam." says Cat in a cute tone.

"I should be going now." says Nona.

"You may stay an extra day, if you like." says Sam.

"Really? I'd enjoy that." says Nona.

"Then stay and go home tomorrow." says Sam.

"Yeah." says Cat.

"Okay. Thank you, girls." says Nona.

"Sit down and relax, Nona. I'll give you some sweet warm tea." says Cat.

Sam put on her biker outfit, takes her motorcycle with her and leave the apartment.

"Goin' for a lil' ride." says Sam.

"Okay." says Cat.

46 minutes later, Sam returns.

Cat and Nona are playing chess.

"I've not played chess in a long time." says Sam.

Sam takes a shower.

The next day.

"Now it's time for me to go home." says Nona.

"I'll miss you!" says Cat, crying a bit as she hug Nona.

"And I'll miss you as well, Cat." says Nona.

Nona grab her bags and leave.

"She was quite the fun lady." says Sam when Nona is gone and can't hear it.

"Good that you like her." says Cat.

"At first she seemed like a dorky old woman, but she's actually not crappy at all." says Sam.

"Yay!" says a happy Cat in a childish tone.

Cat open her guitar case, grab her guitar and starts to play and sing.

 _ **So cute for me.**_

 _ **That's what you'll be.**_

 _ **And you are making me happy.**_

 _ **You are nice.**_

 _ **So sweet and nice.**_

 _ **I know that you can protect me.**_

 _ **Love for me, I can see.**_

 _ **Someday I'll be strong and free.**_

 _ **Very cute.**_

 _ **Adorable.**_

 _ **That is how it should be.**_

 _ **I am so happy.**_

"Cute." says Sam.

"Thanks, Sam." says Cat.

Cat takes a shower while Sam is drinking some beer and watching TV.

2 hours later.

"Smells yummy! Wait...is that...?" says Cat.

"Nona's curry fish, yeah. She gave me the recipe and told me that it was one of your favorite foods when you were little." says Sam.

"Awww! Sweet." says a happy Cat.

"Yeah, girl." says Sam.

40 minutes later, Sam and Cat eat dinner.

"Tell me, how does it taste?" says Sam.

"Sooo yummy. Just as if Nona had made it." says Cat.

"I'm glad you think it's good." says Sam.

"And I'm glad you accept Nona now." says Cat.

"Okay." says Sam.

Sam drink beer and Cat drink tea.

The next day.

Sam teach Cat a song.

 _ **When the second wolf roar over the valley, the warriors swing their swords.**_

 _ **Baldur shall blow his silver horn and war is about to begin.**_

 _ **Muordan, the dragon, will slay Freiur.**_

 _ **The sky fades to darkness.**_

 _ **Bifrozt, the bridge between Earth and Asgard would fall and the final battle between Good and Evil starts.**_

 _ **Thor's mighty hammer would break the skull of the Giant's King.**_

 _ **Odyn's mighty spear known as Gugnner will pierce the heart of the Devil himself.**_

 _ **Tyr's sword shall cut the Lord of the Dark Elves in half.**_

 _ **In one final grand war, the armies of the Light and the Dark are going to face each other.**_

 _ **Hundreds of men shall die, but the sexy Valkyries shall bring the souls of the mighty warriors who fell in combat to the castle Valhalla, to eat and drink for all eternity by the mganificent dinner table of none other than Odyn himself, the King of Asgard.**_

 _ **Glory to the gods, glory in Asgard.**_

 _ **Oh come and let us sing. Oh come and let us sing. Oh come and let us sing to the honor of all.**_

"Kinda dark." says Cat.

"I know." says Sam.

2 days later.

Sam and Cat visit Nona at Elderly Acres.

"What a surprise to see you girls here." says Nona.

"We decided to visit." says Sam.

"And we bought you a little something." says Cat.

"Cat and I got ya this." says Sam as she give Nona a laptop.

"Thanks." says Nona.

"It's the least we could do." says Sam and Cat.

"Okay...very nice of you." says Nona.

"Yeah. We want you to be happy." says Cat. "Me and Sam care about you."

"True." says Sam.

* * *

 **The End.**


End file.
